Oh wow, what a topic! Samantha, I'm definitely no expert, so take my advice with a grain of salt, but here goes.
Friend: Would you have sex with him or in-vitro with his sperm? Either way, there would be a father out there that you know (and knows you). If you wanted to raise the child without his help or input, that may cause problems later on. Even if he agrees and understands that he is just a sperm donor, his fatherly instincts may not allow him to just walk away and forget a child that is half his, and unless you keep it a secret, there would be grandparents who might want a say in the babies upbringing. My opinion? This would not be the way to go.
Sperm bank: Hmmmmmm interesting. If I understand it correctly, you can kinda choose what kind of sperm you want implanted. Blonde? Tall? Smart? Athletic? The choices are there, but you are still dealing with mother nature, so there are no guarantees, but the joy of being pregnant and giving birth are something that I dream about, so this gets a thumbs up!
Adopt: There are so many babies out there that have no future that I cry when I think about it. I'm not a fan of either Angelina Jolie or Madonna, but I truly believe that they adopt all those kids out of pure love, so they get my respect! This gets another thumbs up, but adopting has it downside also. It is a long, drawn out process that doesn't always end happily. The babies sometimes have problems that go beyond what you can handle. I have friends that are suffering through that situation right now, but again, in life there are no guarantees. If it were me, I think I would seriously consider the sperm bank route, but please, give all your options alot of thought. Just the fact that you are thinking about this is soooooooo sweet. Good luck, and keep us informed. Tina
I agree with Tina, I have two friends who went the friend route. They later broke up. The father jumped into the custody fight and they ended up with a huge nasty mess and big legal bills. While there are lots of guys out there willing to jump in to "help", I would only resort to that if all else failed.
Both the sperm bank and adoption have their good points. I think this is something you and your partner need to sit down and weigh which is best for your situation. There is not a single right answer for everyone.
I have to agree with tina, if you adopt, then break up latter, its a big huge mess when theres a child involved. I love children, but in my opinion it is better for tham no to even be involved in a legal thing like devorce. I think you can love children and not have one. I have Nieces and Nephews, I love them all, just as they are my own, but yet I don't have the legal obligation i would have with my own. This is a very tough one. Sperm banks, and surrogrets have good and bad points, as does everthing. just do your homework. I can't decied 4 u, all I can do is give my advice.
Pray about it. Matthew 1 verses 5, 6.
9 Lesbian Ways to Wear a Bandana Autostraddle Lesbians and queers love a good bandana. Do you know how many bandanas I have friends? At least five. At least three of them were gifted to me from various A-Camp experiences, so if you too want a bandana and don't have one, now's the time to get on ...
Hi. I'm New. I'm in GA and love chatting. I'm a writer working on the conclusion to my first book, Hidden Desires: Revealed. Its a lesbian novel and most of it is based on my life, with some fiction. I work at The Boys and Girls Club part-time. The… Continue