I have no idea what to do.............................

I'm 35 year old divorced female who has dealt with mostly hetero relationships all my life, however I have been with a few women over the years so I guess if I had to label myself it would be Bi. Almost a month ago, I visited a good friend of 20 years out of state and stayed with her and her friend. She moved there a few months ago and is living with a good friend of hers who happens to be a lesbian. Over the course of the weekend her friend and I exchanged long moments of eye contact and she put her arm around me a few times. I had dreams about her while I was there and instantly became intrigued with her. I'm still trying to figure out what it was about her that intrigued me so much! It has been such ALONG time since I felt anything for anyone so I was totally floored! She didn't hang out with me and my friend because she was dealing with the death of a love one. Before I left for the airport she asked for my number. I didn't expect to hear from her but she texted me that night and asked did I make it home safely and feel free to call her anytime. At first, she would text me like every 2 days or so but now she has started contacting me everyday asking how I'm doing, and has invited me to come down to North Carolina very soon! For some reason I can't stop thinking about her. I'm not sure if she likes me or if shes just being friendly and also I have to consider that she's the friend of one of my best friends so I'm not sure if I should attempt to find out if she does or not, I'm positive this woman doesn't know I've been with women before but did tell my friend I gave her the eye, I'm just not sure if she likes me, she called and offered to visit me and it seems as if she goes from being flirty to acting like a platonic friend so I'm confused and starting to think that maybe I misread her actions ...what do you think? I know the obvious thing to do would be to discuss my feelings with her but at the same time I haven't put myself out there or made myself emotionally available to a man or woman in a very long time!

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Talk to your friend about it.  Make sure she's ok with you two having a friendship and then go for it sister!!! SHe obviously likes you.  People don't text every day if they don't like you.  Ride it out and talk to her about it.  I bet she really wants to get together with you!

Thank you Teri

I will indeed talk to my friend about it and see where things go. I hope she does want to get together soon!


Talk to your friend about it.  Make sure they are just friends and nothing more, then as Teri said, go for it!  She is obviously into you!  She wants to be with you at least for a while and that is when you will find out what this is all about.  Be specific with what you want as well.  Relationships always involve two people.  So make sure you both are on the same page as they say.  If she simply wants friendship that should be fine, but perhaps she wants to be a friend with benefits.  Whatever the case may be, go ahead and explore its possibilities and be emotionally available to her that is how you find out where people are generally.

pokerdogv aka vinnigirl


Etymology / Definition of Masturbation The word masturbation is derived from the Greek word mezea ('penises') and the Latin verb masturbare ('to defile by hand or to disturb by hand'). Masturbation can be defined as deliberate self stimulation of ones genitals. As the etymology of the word suggests, hands are generally used to arouse the sexual organs which may result in orgasm. Men may fondle or stroke their penis with their hand or touch other erroneous zones (like the scrotum or anus). Women often rub the vulva, or gently stroke the clitoris and the minor lips (labia minora). Some women simultaneously play with the nipples of their breasts. Instead of using their hands, both males and females may also rub their genitals against some object, such as a pillow. Some females can reach orgasm by riding a bicycle or a horse. Masturbation commonly refers to sexual activities done alone (autoeroticism), but can be a sexual act between people. This is referred to as mutual masturbation, where one person stimulates their own genitals or their partners. Many people find the sight of their partner masturbating highly erotic. visit ifeelmyself.com


There are many special masturbation aids on the market. The most common of these is the artificial penis, also known as a dildo (from the Italian diletto - "delight"). Dildos can be made of wood, rubber, plastic or glass. Vibrators are also popular sex toys. They are like dildos, but battery powered or electric. Great for masturbation as well as partner sex play. Babeland have a great selection of sex toys. Watching pornography, reading erotica or cultivating sexual fantasies are common aids to masturbate. Humans are not the only animals to masturbate. Many other mammals have been known to masturbate in the wild and in captivity. Female Masturbation Techniques There are many different techniques women may employ to masturbate. Through experimentation, a personal preference may be found which gives that particular woman the most exquisite pleasure. Some common techniques are: *Inserting one or more fingers into the vagina to stroke the frontal wall of the vagina where the g-spot is located. * Stroking the clitoris and / or massaging the breasts. * In the bathtub or shower, using warm running water to stimulate the clitoris. * Lying face down and straddling a pillow (or something similar) and rubbing the vulva and clitoris against it. * Standing up, the corner of an item of furniture, or even a washing machine, can be used to stimulate the genitals. * Some women can orgasm by crossing their legs tightly and clenching the pelvic or leg muscles, which creates pressure and enhances blood flow to the genitals. Techniques, Sexual Response & Multiple Orgasms From the website: 'Women commonly masturbate by rubbing or applying pressure to the clitoris, mons, lips of the vagina, or some combination of these areas. The methods by which they do this varies greatly. Fingers or other devices may be used to rub the shaft of the clitoris in an up-and-down motion on either or both sides, or the shaft may be rubbed in a circular fashion. The vaginal lips may be gently pulled; this movement of the inner lips causes the loose skin covering the clitoris to move back and forth, creating a pleasurable sensation. Because the glans of the clitoris is highly sensitive, prolonged stimulation usually becomes irritating, and thus it is not often used as the focus of masturbation. Relatively few women (some sexologists estimate about 20%) insert anything into their vaginas while masturbating. Those who do usually insert just barely into the opening. However, some women completely insert fingers, dildos, vibrators, and other objects, such as bananas and cucumbers, during masturbation. All these methods may involve the use of various kinds of lubricants, and many women stimulate their breasts while stimulating their genitals. Some women use washcloths, clothing, pillows, furs, silks, or other such devices to aid their stimulation. Most women prefer lying on their backs, but some prefer standing or sitting. While standing or sitting, a woman may rub against certain objects, such as doorknobs, dresser drawer pulls, the edge of chairs, or bedposts. The woman may cross her legs and increase the pressure on her genitals by contracting her lower abdominal, gluteal, and thigh muscles. Water massages may be used. Some women derive sexual stimulation while riding a bicycle or a horse, activities that were at one time forbidden to women for that very reason. Female sexual response to masturbation is about the same as for males. Some women have reported orgasm 30 seconds from the start of self-stimulation, while the usual time is a little less than four minutes. Because of a woman's ability to have multiple orgasms, she may maintain her threshold of orgasm far longer than a man. ... When mutual masturbation is employed during intercourse, it may greatly enhance sexual response; some women report that they receive more intense pleasure from masturbation either by themselves or by their partner than they do from coitus, especially if their partner is a male who has only slight potency. This is because the clitoris receives little direct stimulation during pelvic thrusting in the missionary position.'



Below you will find summaries of articles & websites on Sexual Fetish & Fantasy, i.e. on creativity, the mind & sex, fantasy vs realism, sexual morality, evolution and human sexuality, bestiality, incest, rape, violence, bukkake, bdsm, bondage, spanking, school girl, cheerleader, secretary, milf, smoking, panties, high heels & foot fetish, cartoon pornography, latex, rubber & leather fetish clothing etc.
Obviously 'fetish' gets relatively few searches per day compared to specific fetishes e.g. 'milf' 150,000, 'hentai' 90,000, 'beastiality' 45,000, 'lingerie' 30,000, 'bondage' 20,000, 'bukkake' 15,000.

The top ten related searches for fetish are;
fetish (8,000), foot fetish (5,500), smoking fetish (2,000), medical fetish (1,600), fetish sex (1,150), fetishes (1,000), feet fetish (900), high heel fetish (900), diaper fetish (860), panty fetish (800)

We hope you find the following articles & websites interesting, useful and fun.
Karene Jade Howie

Definition of Sexual Fetish
First described by Sigmund Freud in 1887, sexual fetishism is a form of paraphilia where the object of affection is a specific inanimate object. 

A fetish is an object, not a body part. According to psychology or psychiatric terminology there is no such thing as a 'foot fetish'. That is called a partialism. This is when a part of the body is an extremely important part to achieve sexual arousal. A shoe though, could be a fetish.

A fetish is when a person is sexually aroused by a specific object or objects and is generally unable to achieve sexual satisfaction without that object being present.

What makes a fetish 'fetishism' by definition is that it interferes with your life. It's not just something you like to do, but something you have to do. In other words, there is no other way to have an orgasm except with a shoe, bra or panties present, or whatever that person is into.


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