i saw this at Lesbian Life and I dont think it has been presented here.
What happens when you love someone with all your heart, but what you want in the bedroom just isn't the same?
Maybe you want a different kind of sex than she does, or maybe you want sex more or less than she does.
It's not something that is easily talked about, but it happens in all kinds of relationships, gay and straight.
Yes. How about getting to know the person before you decide to become intimate. If sex is all someone wants thats easy trust me. But if you want more and most people do, try being friends first. People change and relationships change over the course of a lifetime. And forever is asking a lot for most people. And as the old saying goes, "Sex ain't a spectator sport". No it ain't. Both of you have to engage and participate; or you really have nothing. I have had a very full life. I think that what some people miss is the romancing part of loving someone. And we all need that. At this point as I said before, be there. Make that moment about her and then you and her. You will have more fulfilling relationships and friendships.
vinnigirl aka pokerdogv
Well have really put up alot here to get into with thinking.
Since i have already posted most of what your saying , I will get into what i have not answerd if that is ok,
Let me say i agree with all you have said here. Let me say my thoughts, which are....
We here all time," Forever for a life time," or we hear ,"always and forever." Yes its a challenge but isn't that point?
If anything worth doing isn't worth doing well?Thats me! My moto and i agree romance oh yessss hast to be there. And know the person and communicate to her wine and dinne her. We all love all that. Yet as you saying here some dont, and the article also stated sex was there point of attraction.
Like you I would never want just sex as my main attraction. I dont think you can susstain such a realtionship for long built on just sex alone. It's doomed to failure from start.
You really really need to be friends and really like that person and want to be there. If not then how can next step ever happen or be real.
To love her.... and really emjoy her.You cant.
So you see i agree ....it has to be real.
JUst in case people think i am talking about myself ...I am not.
I am happily married.
The romancing now there it is after posting this Giggles i started talking to girl friends of mine, just asking to see after i read your comment here. All say same they miss it most of all. All them wondered why does it have disappear? I don't think it has to. Hey its your relationship, if its that darn important to you, and to me why aren't we demanding it? Why is left out of the discussion of things we want and never want loose? I am not talking to just us here in my audience, [Lesbian bi women]rather to all women across the entire spectrum. We all want same things. Brings to mind why are not we all much more closely united, in all women's issues.But, i digress, needles to say seems to me we are all at fault not demanding requesting pleading as the case may be. Upfront at start where the relationship begins and before it gets off the ground. Say what want and expect. Then say if you don't understand i will take lead to teach, but i expect you learn from it and do your romancing to me to. Then say we will continue this working it out making a part of us. If we dont work at it ...it dies and so the relationship....experience teaches me that.
I learn this
To love another person completely and honestly the way they want to be loved and to have them to love you completely and honestly the way you want them to love you ...is to truly be in love and it is the hardest work to people will ever be engage in.And i know i have failed at it numerous times...But i don't think i am any different than anyone else. I still desire that one or two depending on how want to define marriage ...
Respect, honesty and communication are essential. I have seen couples walk away from good relationships, because it was easier ti walk away than look at themselves and work on pleasing one another.
Physical intimacy can make or break a solid partnership in half. I have issues with trust, so I have a wall.
Some physical incompatibilities are signs of unchecked emotional baggage, or medical concerns.
Affection, creativity and sensitivity to our partners feelings can help get things warmed up in established bonds. New relationships are not as easy because it takes time to learn about each others needs and find trust. Last but not least, patience and spontaneity can help inject mystery into stale relationships.
When you love someone you give to meet thier needs, and if they love you they will give to meet yours 101 Relationship the real thing!!
She's back lol! I have had many relationships in my life and when it comes to intimacy(not just sex); honesty and communication is an absolute must. How do you feel about certain things and if miscommunication is not only in the bedroom then its time to discuss like adults and not play the run and hide game like kids. I'm always honest. As I told Amy B, when I am intimate I am intimate with the entire body. She had a problem with people not understanding her. Listen to Rae as well,
if you are in that moment with someone, let it be all about her and then all about the two of you.
Get to the unspoken communication when you are beyond knowing as k.d. lang sings. Let the walls down. I know what I'm talking about. Holla back at me, girls!
Love to all,
vinnigirl aka pokerdogv aka VinJan N