BY HEATHER DOCKRAY11254167_10100291585582035_5064590649368502343_o

Warning: the following post is NSFW. Unless everyone at your work is wasted.

The dental dam is dead, but it never really lived.

For many queer women, there's little to grieve. Although known, informally, as the "lesbian condom," a 2010 study found estimated that less than 10% of lesbian women have ever used them, and less than 2% regularly use them. The dental dam is designed to serve as a barrier during cunnilingus and analingus. But many people — straight and queer — don't even know what a dam is, forget how to use it.

SEE ALSO: Lesbians speculate wildly about straight sex

The dam may be dead, but there are real reasons why.

To start with, for many users, the product itself felt far too cumbersome, uncool, and unsexy. Dental dams are thin sheets, typically of rubber latex, sized 10" by 6." To wear it properly, a person needs to hold the dam firmly over their vulva or anus. Lube is recommended, but not required. “It's like a tablecloth for your vagina,” as one person described it to me. And most tablecloths don’t exactly scream “sex appeal” (sorry tablecloths).

“I’d rather get an STD than ever use a dental dam,” Stacey B. told Mashable.

Other users felt similarly.

“Why use dental dams when you can use saran wrap?”

“I tried using one once and I nearly choked to death.”

“Honestly, why don’t you use saran wrap.”

“I haven’t used a dental dam but I know someone who had one tattooed to her arm—do you want to speak with her?”

Dental dams were initially designed to protect people during dental procedures. But during the 1990's, companies like Glyde Health reinvented the dam, and began to target a newly emerging demographic: queer women. Though dental dams could be used by anyone, queer women were the product's primary audience. After all, gay men and straight couples had so much to chose from — condoms, ‘female condoms,’ diaphragms. Lesbians were at disproportionately low risk for certain kinds of STIs, but that didn’t mean they didn’t have needs. Straight, queer, everyone had to use protection. There just had to be a product for them to buy.

It’s not just the construction of the dam itself that stops people from using them – it’s the (perceived) nature of lesbian sex itself. Lesbian sex is commonly portrayed as "low-risk" — and not without reason. It’s much harder, though clearly not impossible, to transmit STIs oral or digital-vaginal sex. More than 5 billion condoms are bought worldwide every year, but many queer women forego dental dams altogether. The expenditure doesn’t seem worth it, because the risk doesn't appear to be there.

Of course, “low-risk” doesn’t mean no risk. To say, as my gynecologist once did, that lesbian sex poses “little danger,” relies on gross generalizations and outdated assumptions –- some more pernicious than others.

Aimee Uchytil is a nurse practitioner at Callen-Lorde, one of New York City’s top healthcare providers for the LGBTQI population. For Uchytil, oral sex might have less risk than certain types of penetrative sex, but that doesn't mean it's without consequences.

“During oral sex, things can be contracted like herpes and human papilloma virus,” Uchyital said. “If the integrity of the skin is a little bit more open, oral sex can be more dangerous.”

Many providers, Uchytil added, make assumptions about who lesbian sex involves and what exactly happens. Not all lesbians are cis women, not all relationships are monogamous, and not all lesbians have strictly oral sex (in fact, most don’t). Diseases can be still be transmitted orally, anally, and by sharing an infected sex toy. But some medical intake forms only ask about heterosexual sex, or sex between gay men. Gynecologists aren't always prepared to treat queer women, and some feel uncomfortable asking for help or testing. That actually puts the population at a higher risk.

“I think that assumptions can be really detrimental for healthcare. Someone who identifies as queer and has a bad experience might not go back or routine follow-up … They might lie or leave,” Uchytil told Mashable.

There's so much room for improvement. As you can tell from the three women in the video above, dental dams aren't exactly the prophylactic panacea queer women dream of. To make the video above, I had to go shopping at four separate locations (CVS, a medical clinic, and two sex stores). I only found about 10 dental dams, each covered in an ancient layer of dust. Some queer women prefer to use reconfigured condoms, or even saran wrap.

So talk to your partner(s). Get tested regularly. Dental dams may not be pretty (correction: they are definitely not pretty). But you should never protect yourself from protection.


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Etymology / Definition of Masturbation The word masturbation is derived from the Greek word mezea ('penises') and the Latin verb masturbare ('to defile by hand or to disturb by hand'). Masturbation can be defined as deliberate self stimulation of ones genitals. As the etymology of the word suggests, hands are generally used to arouse the sexual organs which may result in orgasm. Men may fondle or stroke their penis with their hand or touch other erroneous zones (like the scrotum or anus). Women often rub the vulva, or gently stroke the clitoris and the minor lips (labia minora). Some women simultaneously play with the nipples of their breasts. Instead of using their hands, both males and females may also rub their genitals against some object, such as a pillow. Some females can reach orgasm by riding a bicycle or a horse. Masturbation commonly refers to sexual activities done alone (autoeroticism), but can be a sexual act between people. This is referred to as mutual masturbation, where one person stimulates their own genitals or their partners. Many people find the sight of their partner masturbating highly erotic. visit


There are many special masturbation aids on the market. The most common of these is the artificial penis, also known as a dildo (from the Italian diletto - "delight"). Dildos can be made of wood, rubber, plastic or glass. Vibrators are also popular sex toys. They are like dildos, but battery powered or electric. Great for masturbation as well as partner sex play. Babeland have a great selection of sex toys. Watching pornography, reading erotica or cultivating sexual fantasies are common aids to masturbate. Humans are not the only animals to masturbate. Many other mammals have been known to masturbate in the wild and in captivity. Female Masturbation Techniques There are many different techniques women may employ to masturbate. Through experimentation, a personal preference may be found which gives that particular woman the most exquisite pleasure. Some common techniques are: *Inserting one or more fingers into the vagina to stroke the frontal wall of the vagina where the g-spot is located. * Stroking the clitoris and / or massaging the breasts. * In the bathtub or shower, using warm running water to stimulate the clitoris. * Lying face down and straddling a pillow (or something similar) and rubbing the vulva and clitoris against it. * Standing up, the corner of an item of furniture, or even a washing machine, can be used to stimulate the genitals. * Some women can orgasm by crossing their legs tightly and clenching the pelvic or leg muscles, which creates pressure and enhances blood flow to the genitals. Techniques, Sexual Response & Multiple Orgasms From the website: 'Women commonly masturbate by rubbing or applying pressure to the clitoris, mons, lips of the vagina, or some combination of these areas. The methods by which they do this varies greatly. Fingers or other devices may be used to rub the shaft of the clitoris in an up-and-down motion on either or both sides, or the shaft may be rubbed in a circular fashion. The vaginal lips may be gently pulled; this movement of the inner lips causes the loose skin covering the clitoris to move back and forth, creating a pleasurable sensation. Because the glans of the clitoris is highly sensitive, prolonged stimulation usually becomes irritating, and thus it is not often used as the focus of masturbation. Relatively few women (some sexologists estimate about 20%) insert anything into their vaginas while masturbating. Those who do usually insert just barely into the opening. However, some women completely insert fingers, dildos, vibrators, and other objects, such as bananas and cucumbers, during masturbation. All these methods may involve the use of various kinds of lubricants, and many women stimulate their breasts while stimulating their genitals. Some women use washcloths, clothing, pillows, furs, silks, or other such devices to aid their stimulation. Most women prefer lying on their backs, but some prefer standing or sitting. While standing or sitting, a woman may rub against certain objects, such as doorknobs, dresser drawer pulls, the edge of chairs, or bedposts. The woman may cross her legs and increase the pressure on her genitals by contracting her lower abdominal, gluteal, and thigh muscles. Water massages may be used. Some women derive sexual stimulation while riding a bicycle or a horse, activities that were at one time forbidden to women for that very reason. Female sexual response to masturbation is about the same as for males. Some women have reported orgasm 30 seconds from the start of self-stimulation, while the usual time is a little less than four minutes. Because of a woman's ability to have multiple orgasms, she may maintain her threshold of orgasm far longer than a man. ... When mutual masturbation is employed during intercourse, it may greatly enhance sexual response; some women report that they receive more intense pleasure from masturbation either by themselves or by their partner than they do from coitus, especially if their partner is a male who has only slight potency. This is because the clitoris receives little direct stimulation during pelvic thrusting in the missionary position.'



Below you will find summaries of articles & websites on Sexual Fetish & Fantasy, i.e. on creativity, the mind & sex, fantasy vs realism, sexual morality, evolution and human sexuality, bestiality, incest, rape, violence, bukkake, bdsm, bondage, spanking, school girl, cheerleader, secretary, milf, smoking, panties, high heels & foot fetish, cartoon pornography, latex, rubber & leather fetish clothing etc.
Obviously 'fetish' gets relatively few searches per day compared to specific fetishes e.g. 'milf' 150,000, 'hentai' 90,000, 'beastiality' 45,000, 'lingerie' 30,000, 'bondage' 20,000, 'bukkake' 15,000.

The top ten related searches for fetish are;
fetish (8,000), foot fetish (5,500), smoking fetish (2,000), medical fetish (1,600), fetish sex (1,150), fetishes (1,000), feet fetish (900), high heel fetish (900), diaper fetish (860), panty fetish (800)

We hope you find the following articles & websites interesting, useful and fun.
Karene Jade Howie

Definition of Sexual Fetish
First described by Sigmund Freud in 1887, sexual fetishism is a form of paraphilia where the object of affection is a specific inanimate object. 

A fetish is an object, not a body part. According to psychology or psychiatric terminology there is no such thing as a 'foot fetish'. That is called a partialism. This is when a part of the body is an extremely important part to achieve sexual arousal. A shoe though, could be a fetish.

A fetish is when a person is sexually aroused by a specific object or objects and is generally unable to achieve sexual satisfaction without that object being present.

What makes a fetish 'fetishism' by definition is that it interferes with your life. It's not just something you like to do, but something you have to do. In other words, there is no other way to have an orgasm except with a shoe, bra or panties present, or whatever that person is into.


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