I recently ended a relationship with someone "I am bisexual" We agreed to have a monogamous relationship. About 6mos ago our sex life was reduced to one maybe two times a month. I tried to address the issue several times and we came to many agreements but nothing changed.
I concluded that our sex drives were very different and that an agreement could
not be reached. In the beginning we had lots of great sex. I was the one wanting to have more sex.
My opinion is that the difference between just friends and girlfriend or boyfriend is that you have monogamous sex. If the sex stops aren't you back to just friends?
My question is if you agreed to have a monogamous relationship with someone and then the sex stops is your agreement with that person still valid.
I am looking forward to your responses.
I think that you should explain how you feel and end the relationship. I agree that having an exclusive relationship with someone means that you need to be happy about the sex.
I would rather be single.
Monog or poly you should always honor your agreements. My girlfriend and I are poly but we still have agreements about when and how we will sleep with other people. We always fully disclose to each other anything we do and most of the time in advance.
The key to making any relationship work is communication and being open and honest with your partner(s).
If your agreement with your partner is to be faithfully monog, then you need to talk to your partner and renegotiate your agreement. It would be wrong to imply terms that were never discussed and unilaterally make nonconsensual changes to your agreement.
Just my opinion.
Thanks Carla I will talk to her again. I believe we are sexually incompatible.
I went through that. I waited longer than you would believe for things to turn around. IT never did it got worse. I am monogamous. Finally, my personal thoughts are if someone wants to make you happy but there isn't any cooperation on both sides, get out of the relationship. The longer you go without a physical expression of affection the more likely it is that there is a medical problem or a third party taking up the slack. Sorry to say if you aren't the one sipping on another straw, your FRIEND is probably sipping on the side.
I think that the relationship still exists. Sex is only one component of a relationship. Depending on the person it could be a minor part (or a major one). It seems you feel you are not getting everything you need from this person. I know you said that you have addressed the issue, but nothing gets resolved. It could be the approach taken, or simply neither one of you want to give the relationship up, even though you feel you need more. If you continue to feel this way, though, sooner or later something will come up...you could start feeling anger for unresolved issues, and may even cheat.
You need to have trust. By both of you keeping this major factor ignored, it will fester inside of you till something snaps. So, please, both of you need to have a sit down and honestly talk about it. Push negativity and uncertainty aside and talk freely about what both of you are feeling!