I recently ended a relationship with someone "I am bisexual" We agreed to have a monogamous relationship. About 6mos ago our sex life was reduced to one maybe two times a month. I tried to address the issue several times and we came to many agreements but nothing changed.

 
I concluded that our sex drives were very different and that an agreement could
not be reached.  In the beginning we had lots of great sex. I was the one wanting to have more sex.

 

My opinion is that the difference between just friends and girlfriend or boyfriend is that you have monogamous sex. If the sex stops aren't you back to just friends?

 

My question is if you agreed to have a monogamous relationship with someone and then the sex stops is your agreement with that person still valid.



I am looking forward to your responses.



Samantha

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Yes actually that is very valid because in way you two in a way have agreed to be in a relationship. Which means unless you break up with that person so to speak they might in there mind as well think the agreement is valid as well. So technically your not just friends until you both come to that agreement

I think that you should explain how you feel and end the relationship. I agree that having an exclusive relationship with someone means that you need to be happy about the sex.

 

I would rather be single.

 

Teri

Monog or poly you should always honor your agreements. My girlfriend and I are poly but we still have agreements about when and how we will sleep with other people. We always fully disclose to each other anything we do and most of the time in advance.

 

The key to making any relationship work is communication and being open and honest with your partner(s).

 

If your agreement with your partner is to be faithfully monog, then you need to talk to your partner and renegotiate your agreement. It would be wrong to imply terms that were never discussed and unilaterally make nonconsensual changes to your agreement.

 

Just my opinion.

 

kisses

 

Carla

Thanks Carla I will talk to her again. I believe we are sexually incompatible.

 

Samantha

I went through that. I waited longer than you would believe for things to turn around. IT never did it got worse. I am monogamous. Finally, my personal thoughts are if someone wants to make you happy but there isn't any cooperation on both sides, get out of the relationship.  The longer you go without a physical expression of affection the more likely it is that there is a medical problem or a third party taking up the slack.  Sorry to say if you aren't the one sipping on another straw, your FRIEND is probably sipping on the side.

I agree with you totally!


I would agree that you need to disscuss your situation.I think you are right its not a compatible situation for you..
A good talk should settle it.

I think that the relationship still exists.  Sex is only one component of a relationship.  Depending on the person it could be a minor part (or a major one).  It seems you feel you are not getting everything you need from this person.  I know you said that you have addressed the issue, but nothing gets resolved.  It could be the approach taken, or simply neither one of you want to give the relationship up, even though you feel you need more.  If you continue to feel this way, though, sooner or later something will come up...you could start feeling anger for unresolved issues, and may even cheat.  

 

You need to have trust.  By both of you keeping this major factor ignored, it will fester inside of you till something snaps.  So, please, both of you need to have a sit down and honestly talk about it.  Push negativity and uncertainty aside and talk freely about what both of you are feeling!

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Etymology / Definition of Masturbation The word masturbation is derived from the Greek word mezea ('penises') and the Latin verb masturbare ('to defile by hand or to disturb by hand'). Masturbation can be defined as deliberate self stimulation of ones genitals. As the etymology of the word suggests, hands are generally used to arouse the sexual organs which may result in orgasm. Men may fondle or stroke their penis with their hand or touch other erroneous zones (like the scrotum or anus). Women often rub the vulva, or gently stroke the clitoris and the minor lips (labia minora). Some women simultaneously play with the nipples of their breasts. Instead of using their hands, both males and females may also rub their genitals against some object, such as a pillow. Some females can reach orgasm by riding a bicycle or a horse. Masturbation commonly refers to sexual activities done alone (autoeroticism), but can be a sexual act between people. This is referred to as mutual masturbation, where one person stimulates their own genitals or their partners. Many people find the sight of their partner masturbating highly erotic. visit ifeelmyself.com

 

There are many special masturbation aids on the market. The most common of these is the artificial penis, also known as a dildo (from the Italian diletto - "delight"). Dildos can be made of wood, rubber, plastic or glass. Vibrators are also popular sex toys. They are like dildos, but battery powered or electric. Great for masturbation as well as partner sex play. Babeland have a great selection of sex toys. Watching pornography, reading erotica or cultivating sexual fantasies are common aids to masturbate. Humans are not the only animals to masturbate. Many other mammals have been known to masturbate in the wild and in captivity. Female Masturbation Techniques There are many different techniques women may employ to masturbate. Through experimentation, a personal preference may be found which gives that particular woman the most exquisite pleasure. Some common techniques are: *Inserting one or more fingers into the vagina to stroke the frontal wall of the vagina where the g-spot is located. * Stroking the clitoris and / or massaging the breasts. * In the bathtub or shower, using warm running water to stimulate the clitoris. * Lying face down and straddling a pillow (or something similar) and rubbing the vulva and clitoris against it. * Standing up, the corner of an item of furniture, or even a washing machine, can be used to stimulate the genitals. * Some women can orgasm by crossing their legs tightly and clenching the pelvic or leg muscles, which creates pressure and enhances blood flow to the genitals. Techniques, Sexual Response & Multiple Orgasms From the website: 'Women commonly masturbate by rubbing or applying pressure to the clitoris, mons, lips of the vagina, or some combination of these areas. The methods by which they do this varies greatly. Fingers or other devices may be used to rub the shaft of the clitoris in an up-and-down motion on either or both sides, or the shaft may be rubbed in a circular fashion. The vaginal lips may be gently pulled; this movement of the inner lips causes the loose skin covering the clitoris to move back and forth, creating a pleasurable sensation. Because the glans of the clitoris is highly sensitive, prolonged stimulation usually becomes irritating, and thus it is not often used as the focus of masturbation. Relatively few women (some sexologists estimate about 20%) insert anything into their vaginas while masturbating. Those who do usually insert just barely into the opening. However, some women completely insert fingers, dildos, vibrators, and other objects, such as bananas and cucumbers, during masturbation. All these methods may involve the use of various kinds of lubricants, and many women stimulate their breasts while stimulating their genitals. Some women use washcloths, clothing, pillows, furs, silks, or other such devices to aid their stimulation. Most women prefer lying on their backs, but some prefer standing or sitting. While standing or sitting, a woman may rub against certain objects, such as doorknobs, dresser drawer pulls, the edge of chairs, or bedposts. The woman may cross her legs and increase the pressure on her genitals by contracting her lower abdominal, gluteal, and thigh muscles. Water massages may be used. Some women derive sexual stimulation while riding a bicycle or a horse, activities that were at one time forbidden to women for that very reason. Female sexual response to masturbation is about the same as for males. Some women have reported orgasm 30 seconds from the start of self-stimulation, while the usual time is a little less than four minutes. Because of a woman's ability to have multiple orgasms, she may maintain her threshold of orgasm far longer than a man. ... When mutual masturbation is employed during intercourse, it may greatly enhance sexual response; some women report that they receive more intense pleasure from masturbation either by themselves or by their partner than they do from coitus, especially if their partner is a male who has only slight potency. This is because the clitoris receives little direct stimulation during pelvic thrusting in the missionary position.'

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Below you will find summaries of articles & websites on Sexual Fetish & Fantasy, i.e. on creativity, the mind & sex, fantasy vs realism, sexual morality, evolution and human sexuality, bestiality, incest, rape, violence, bukkake, bdsm, bondage, spanking, school girl, cheerleader, secretary, milf, smoking, panties, high heels & foot fetish, cartoon pornography, latex, rubber & leather fetish clothing etc.
Obviously 'fetish' gets relatively few searches per day compared to specific fetishes e.g. 'milf' 150,000, 'hentai' 90,000, 'beastiality' 45,000, 'lingerie' 30,000, 'bondage' 20,000, 'bukkake' 15,000.

The top ten related searches for fetish are;
fetish (8,000), foot fetish (5,500), smoking fetish (2,000), medical fetish (1,600), fetish sex (1,150), fetishes (1,000), feet fetish (900), high heel fetish (900), diaper fetish (860), panty fetish (800)

We hope you find the following articles & websites interesting, useful and fun.
Karene Jade Howie


Definition of Sexual Fetish
First described by Sigmund Freud in 1887, sexual fetishism is a form of paraphilia where the object of affection is a specific inanimate object. 

A fetish is an object, not a body part. According to psychology or psychiatric terminology there is no such thing as a 'foot fetish'. That is called a partialism. This is when a part of the body is an extremely important part to achieve sexual arousal. A shoe though, could be a fetish.

A fetish is when a person is sexually aroused by a specific object or objects and is generally unable to achieve sexual satisfaction without that object being present.

What makes a fetish 'fetishism' by definition is that it interferes with your life. It's not just something you like to do, but something you have to do. In other words, there is no other way to have an orgasm except with a shoe, bra or panties present, or whatever that person is into.

 

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