Last night I was at a business meeting and several people started talking about Lesbians. Listening to thier conversation I got the feeling that the word Lesbian was either used negativly or had sexual overtones.

 

My question is outside of the Lesbian community how to people perceive the word Lesbian and why?

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Well I am not really in a lesbian community so the only perspective I have is the straight world. For the most part everyone is cool with me being lesbian. How I am percieved? I am not sure. I know who my friends are and they have been my friends for a long time and I know how my family supports me but at the work place and just in my everyday world of being a mom and a woman, it's not really a high priority. I don't sector myself off and only associate with lesbians, I can't imagine doing that but that is me. I actually enjoy my straight friends. I think society is more informed now about the gay lifestyle and its not looked at as it was maybe 20 even 10 years ago. It might be just the gathering of people at that meeting who were negative and judgmental, not everyone is that way.
I have found the same thing the people I work with dont know my sexuality and assume that I am straight. When they use the word Lesbian they are usually talking about sex. I think it is associated with sex more than anything else.
Few people know I'm a lesbian. It's just my feeling that it's no ones business but mine so when my friends or co-workers start talking or joking or making comments, I know they do it without it being directed at me, so I can listen objectively. One note though, there are a couple more lesbians where I work and one of them is an executive partner in the law firm, and I know for a fact that she makes a mental note about who is biased and disrespectful, and she is quite angry about that horrible, dreadful, anti-gay marriage law in Calif. lol. When it comes to layoff time and those crude, rude, and sometimes quite vile and mean-spirited individuals get the boot, all I can say is "sorry a**hole, you reap what you sow!" When someone says the word 'lesbian', most of the time it is said with derision or contempt. If a girl has strong opinions, or if she isn't ultra-fem, or if she is a strong individual, she must be a lesbian. If she looks altheletic, or smokes, or doesn't put up with immature nonesense, she is ridiculed (behind her back) and called a lesbian. I guess there aren't many beautiful, silly girls that are lesbians (but I bet there are lol). Sorry for the long rant Angie, but I'm at work, and sitting here at my desk gives me alot of time to think and get worked up lol.
I have to add that I think men are more critical than women, I work with two guys and two other women who are gay and of course they talk behind the men's back but not much is said ab out the women. I know when I tell men I am gay, they have this opinion that I was never with the right man then,,,LOL,,so not true. But when it comes to bisexual women,,oh men love that, its a huge turn on.
I agree with Tina, being gay is not all of what I am about, and if asked I will say I am but work is work and unless I am being discriminated against(which just being a woman can do it), I am like any other woman. I am not ultra femm either.

Mary
2 me, it all depends on whether you are out of the closet or not..
if you're still in the closet, both men and women think that they can still change you..
that they man can show you what a real man is like, not some woman with a strapon..
and the women can tell you you need to pray or something along those lines to make you change..
others think it's a psychological prob that can be easily remedied by visits to a shrink..
but how can you change the true way a person feels inside?

now if you're out of the closet like i am..
i really don't give 2 craps about how others perceive me..
the religious aspect is important here..
some people still say that i am lost, that if i find God, i'll return back to being straight, but hell, i never have been straight..just shakin my head here..
in today's society and from what i understand, it's cool for two women to be together..yes..another turn on for men..
we're cool..
how does that make you feel?
like a fad..which bites..
laughing at those that think we're an abomination to the world..
like just as in the movie, it's in the water, we can just pass along, like a glass full of water, our sexual orientation..
being out of the closet helps to stand up for what i believe in..
i no longer have to face the ridicule and criticism of others..
i just shove it back down their throats..
2 me, some people are afraid of the word lesbian..
they either have thought about it and liked it, which prob scares them, or on the otherhand, they have thought about it and disliked it, which in turn, made them haters..
just sayin..

Well I agree with sleepless, being out is best,and more honest too. If you are who you are then just be true yourself. Shove all rudeness back in their faces. I treat people as I find them.Try always to fair.I am one who likes to help people.

What I have hear is same as everyone else is saying.I might add some the rudeness and talk from men is jealousy. Most lesbians not all butch or dyke.. Jealousy and talk comes when its two openly gay lesbians and drop dead gorgeous. Then, hear behind the back men saying I can turn them, or the problem is they are not loyal hope from woman to woman. When I hear that makes me laugh. Men never loyal even when they appear to be. I sure hope that's not really our image as lesbians.

I have been married two times myself, never divorced.I have lots friends living together very long term relationships. So, to me was rude but then I was over hearing men saying it. I was not in their conversation or I would have things to say.



Where I work we have a couple of people that have a negative opinion of Lesbians because of their religion. I have wanted to say something but one of them is my supervisor. Should I get in a debate with them or not?
Everytime I have come across it in any situation it was more of a fillin for "alien life form" mainly because they just didn't understand it and wanted to for some reason or another. Be it that they had a family member newly out of the closet or a friend that confided in them and they wanted to be supportive but knew not how to approach that subject. I have never in any way shape or form come across anger or negativity in any way. I am not sure why that is but thats my experiance.
I was on photobucket a few weeks ago and did a photo search for Lesbian women and was given a warning that they do not allow pornography . Also if you do any advertising on yahoo search and the ad has Lesbian in the text it will be reviewed by a human everytime.

Its not right that Lesbian and pornography have been tied together but I think they have and may never be separated.

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Etymology / Definition of Masturbation The word masturbation is derived from the Greek word mezea ('penises') and the Latin verb masturbare ('to defile by hand or to disturb by hand'). Masturbation can be defined as deliberate self stimulation of ones genitals. As the etymology of the word suggests, hands are generally used to arouse the sexual organs which may result in orgasm. Men may fondle or stroke their penis with their hand or touch other erroneous zones (like the scrotum or anus). Women often rub the vulva, or gently stroke the clitoris and the minor lips (labia minora). Some women simultaneously play with the nipples of their breasts. Instead of using their hands, both males and females may also rub their genitals against some object, such as a pillow. Some females can reach orgasm by riding a bicycle or a horse. Masturbation commonly refers to sexual activities done alone (autoeroticism), but can be a sexual act between people. This is referred to as mutual masturbation, where one person stimulates their own genitals or their partners. Many people find the sight of their partner masturbating highly erotic. visit ifeelmyself.com

 

There are many special masturbation aids on the market. The most common of these is the artificial penis, also known as a dildo (from the Italian diletto - "delight"). Dildos can be made of wood, rubber, plastic or glass. Vibrators are also popular sex toys. They are like dildos, but battery powered or electric. Great for masturbation as well as partner sex play. Babeland have a great selection of sex toys. Watching pornography, reading erotica or cultivating sexual fantasies are common aids to masturbate. Humans are not the only animals to masturbate. Many other mammals have been known to masturbate in the wild and in captivity. Female Masturbation Techniques There are many different techniques women may employ to masturbate. Through experimentation, a personal preference may be found which gives that particular woman the most exquisite pleasure. Some common techniques are: *Inserting one or more fingers into the vagina to stroke the frontal wall of the vagina where the g-spot is located. * Stroking the clitoris and / or massaging the breasts. * In the bathtub or shower, using warm running water to stimulate the clitoris. * Lying face down and straddling a pillow (or something similar) and rubbing the vulva and clitoris against it. * Standing up, the corner of an item of furniture, or even a washing machine, can be used to stimulate the genitals. * Some women can orgasm by crossing their legs tightly and clenching the pelvic or leg muscles, which creates pressure and enhances blood flow to the genitals. Techniques, Sexual Response & Multiple Orgasms From the website: 'Women commonly masturbate by rubbing or applying pressure to the clitoris, mons, lips of the vagina, or some combination of these areas. The methods by which they do this varies greatly. Fingers or other devices may be used to rub the shaft of the clitoris in an up-and-down motion on either or both sides, or the shaft may be rubbed in a circular fashion. The vaginal lips may be gently pulled; this movement of the inner lips causes the loose skin covering the clitoris to move back and forth, creating a pleasurable sensation. Because the glans of the clitoris is highly sensitive, prolonged stimulation usually becomes irritating, and thus it is not often used as the focus of masturbation. Relatively few women (some sexologists estimate about 20%) insert anything into their vaginas while masturbating. Those who do usually insert just barely into the opening. However, some women completely insert fingers, dildos, vibrators, and other objects, such as bananas and cucumbers, during masturbation. All these methods may involve the use of various kinds of lubricants, and many women stimulate their breasts while stimulating their genitals. Some women use washcloths, clothing, pillows, furs, silks, or other such devices to aid their stimulation. Most women prefer lying on their backs, but some prefer standing or sitting. While standing or sitting, a woman may rub against certain objects, such as doorknobs, dresser drawer pulls, the edge of chairs, or bedposts. The woman may cross her legs and increase the pressure on her genitals by contracting her lower abdominal, gluteal, and thigh muscles. Water massages may be used. Some women derive sexual stimulation while riding a bicycle or a horse, activities that were at one time forbidden to women for that very reason. Female sexual response to masturbation is about the same as for males. Some women have reported orgasm 30 seconds from the start of self-stimulation, while the usual time is a little less than four minutes. Because of a woman's ability to have multiple orgasms, she may maintain her threshold of orgasm far longer than a man. ... When mutual masturbation is employed during intercourse, it may greatly enhance sexual response; some women report that they receive more intense pleasure from masturbation either by themselves or by their partner than they do from coitus, especially if their partner is a male who has only slight potency. This is because the clitoris receives little direct stimulation during pelvic thrusting in the missionary position.'

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Below you will find summaries of articles & websites on Sexual Fetish & Fantasy, i.e. on creativity, the mind & sex, fantasy vs realism, sexual morality, evolution and human sexuality, bestiality, incest, rape, violence, bukkake, bdsm, bondage, spanking, school girl, cheerleader, secretary, milf, smoking, panties, high heels & foot fetish, cartoon pornography, latex, rubber & leather fetish clothing etc.
Obviously 'fetish' gets relatively few searches per day compared to specific fetishes e.g. 'milf' 150,000, 'hentai' 90,000, 'beastiality' 45,000, 'lingerie' 30,000, 'bondage' 20,000, 'bukkake' 15,000.

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Definition of Sexual Fetish
First described by Sigmund Freud in 1887, sexual fetishism is a form of paraphilia where the object of affection is a specific inanimate object. 

A fetish is an object, not a body part. According to psychology or psychiatric terminology there is no such thing as a 'foot fetish'. That is called a partialism. This is when a part of the body is an extremely important part to achieve sexual arousal. A shoe though, could be a fetish.

A fetish is when a person is sexually aroused by a specific object or objects and is generally unable to achieve sexual satisfaction without that object being present.

What makes a fetish 'fetishism' by definition is that it interferes with your life. It's not just something you like to do, but something you have to do. In other words, there is no other way to have an orgasm except with a shoe, bra or panties present, or whatever that person is into.

 

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