monlouge part two
Its taken me some time to get over the fact that I actually faced my problem. The whole not being in love with Azela problem. Now it almost feels worse than I last rememberd being single. Its like starting a new year and its only the middle of may. Dating is more terrifying and annoying than before. Its like the longer your not being single the more weird girls come out when you are. Yet I sometimes wonder what was I thinking breaking it off, maybe we could of worked things out. While in my heart I know it wasnt true, and my pillow is growing colder at night. Maybe I'm just to old and set in ways or worse maybe I'm to unrealistic. For wanting to be actually truly in love to where my heart feels like it has all it can stand. Yet everytime that woman comes around my heart seems to fall more in love. Or everytime when were apart and I think of her, I think of something cute she said or did. It makes me laugh and my heart swell more with love. Whil the passion mixed with that love is so deep and intense the love making can last for hours yet time seems to standing still. At the same time most importantly that feeling of when I look at her while she lay peacefully asleep. This could be the one I want to be with forever, the one I wake up next to every morning. Does anyone actually have that anymore, or will I ever really find that in life?